I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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