Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
