Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
