five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
