Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
