Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
