I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
