Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
