If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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