my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
