Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
