I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
