Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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