who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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