So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
True strength comes from lack of pants
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
