Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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