u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
