You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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