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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm having to shit out rocks
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
