Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize