i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
