By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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