I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize