I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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