don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
