thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
