like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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