She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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