She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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