My nipple is on Facebook.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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