It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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