what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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