i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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