we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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