This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize