she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
