He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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