i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
