i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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