Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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