do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
