Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
