So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
