I just pynch a tree in the face
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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