she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
