What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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