I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it hurts more in the daytime
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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