He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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