idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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