hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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