he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
