Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
