So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
