She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
