# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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