Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
