Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
