She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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