my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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