He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
