our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
